I snap awake to an unwelcomed conversation from the adjacent room.
“I’m not drunk… in fact I didn’t have enough to drink!”
“What are you griping about?”
“You’re drunk. You’re always loud when you drink.”
The couple continues, loud and unabated. The woman turns the TV on, imagining or perhaps hoping that no one will hear the argument but while CNN somewhat masks what is now an argument, I’m now fully awake and have no control over the audio.
I call the hotel operator to complain. The operator asks, “Can you speak up or turn down your television?” While a confirmation of sorts, I’m not comforted. I explain that the din is coming from room 626 and ask if she can send security to quiet the couple down.
I hear security arrive. The woman apologizes and 626 goes quiet. Moments later, security knock gently on my door to apologize for the inconvenience.
Sounds emit from the bathroom in 626, suggesting that someone is paying the cost of partying to hearty.
New sounds emit from bathroom in 626: the shower. And moaning.
Room 626 goes quiet.
I stop reviewing the report I had opened at 4:05 a.m., when I gave up trying to return to sleep. I put my iPhone in the cradle of the multifunction clock/radio/music player, open iTunes, find my heavy metal songs list, choose a Metallica track, crank up the volume, head to the shower and close the bathroom door.
GIVE FUEL GIVE ME FIRE GIVE ME THAT WHICH I DESIRE!
I finish my shower, open the bathroom door, and answer the phone.
“Sir, this is security. We’ve received a complaint that you’re playing music too loudly.”
“Oh my. I was taking a shower and forgot that I’d set my alarm. I’m so sorry!”
(Pause) “Well played, sir. Enjoy your day.”
Whether the events I describe in this post occurred as transcribed this morning or are pure fiction is immaterial. Either provide the desired catharsis.